What Would Martha Do?

Two weeks til Thanksgiving and I'm realizing how much I need to do to prepare for the big day. We're hosting a small family gathering, and our house is far from ready. We have a lot of stuff in our house, and I need to start clearing the deck for all the food stuff that goes along with this holiday. Plus, when you host a holiday get-together, of course the guests bring more stuff. I need to get to work on all surfaces that can potentially house Thanksgiving stuff. Shelves, counters, etc.

Just for kicks, I decided to see what Martha Stewart has to say about preparing your house for a holiday. Not that Martha would know what it's like to have a 6-year old container of Crisco in her cupboard, but I figured the domestic diva might have some worthwhile tips for holiday prep. (If you're curious, the shortening is good for 2 years unopened, according to the Crisco hotline.)

According to her planner, the only thing Martha has to do in early November is order a floral centerpiece & a fresh turkey. Then she doesn't have anything to do til 4 days prior to the holiday. You know, except for making all her Christmas ornaments by hand and baking 27 varieties of 183 dozen cookies to put in the freezer for all those holiday visitors. Plus another 25 dozen to send to her pals in the slammer.

So, I thought I'd flesh out Martha's planner by adding some steps for ordinary folk, like myself.

Mid-November

• Panic. Realize that your house is a disaster. Your counters are cluttered and your fridge is full of an embarrassing number of science experiments. The top of the fridge is covered with dust and debris too. Geez, Girlfriend! Whatcha been doing?
• Try to find the dining room table. Yes, it's there somewhere. Walk in circles hoping that the piles on the table will magically find a new home.
• Scan other formerly-flat surfaces in the dining room. Chairs, bookcase, stereo cabinet. Spin around a few more times hoping that you'll have an idea about where to put everything.
• In your best wrecking-ball stance, walk through the living room. Plow through the toys. Fret about what to do... what to do. Fret, fret, fret. Consider hanging toys from the ceiling to free up some floor space.
• Open closets. Panic again. See that they're overflowing and cannot house any of the stuff you want to hide there for Thanksgiving day.

Week before Thanksgiving

• Sift and sort.
• Sort and sift.
• Wring hands.
• Have an emotional outburst.

Day before Thanksgiving

• Locate chocolate. And wine. Ingest. Breathe. Smile. Ahhh.
  
• Heave everything into bins and bags, and shove them into the attic.
• Return to Martha's list, pretending to have everything under control.

 

Comments

[vw bug]

You must have read my mind!

[shish]

This post made me LOL. I feel so spoiled to have spent every Thanksgiving since birth at my grandma's. She's taken care of everything, along with my great aunt, since the beginning of time, but I have supplied dessert for everyone for the last six years or so. You are brave indeed to be hosting the big meal.

[Sarcasmom]

Your list is so much more practiGal.

[Running2Ks]

LOL. That would be a very fun book to read. Your book.

'Course, you could always hop on a plane and have T-day at a resort :)

[Aginoth]

Your funny...I think I'll blogroll you if that's OK :o)

Michelle sent me today ,...but I'll be back

[Barbara]

Sounds akin to what I would do, except putting things in the attic is too much work. It's much easier to throw the bags down the basement stairs, quicker too!

[Barbara]

Sounds akin to what I would do, except putting things in the attic is too much work. It's much easier to throw the bags down the basement stairs, quicker too!

[mar]

Enjoyed your post very much! I am feeling a bit like that without Thanksgiving (our household is German/SouthAmerican), but MIL is coming! to house-sit and convalescent-son-sit. While I party two weeks long, yes! but I am sorting things out just in case.

[mar]

Oh, it's her son, I am taking mine along! :D

[Arethusa]

Haha! This is why I'm always going to find a nice relative to visit for Thanksgiving. Really. *fingers crossed*

You'll do fine. ;)

[empress maruja]

hello michele sent me! :)

Best of luck to your Thanksgiving dinner. By November's end, I would get panicky cause our Christmas Midnight Dinner is nearing

[ribbiticus]

hi! great post! although we don't have thanksgiving here in the philippines, i sure got an idea of what it feels like to be in your shoes. it must be a madhouse right before that particular holiday.

here via michele today. enjoy your weekend! :)

[craziequeen]

ooh - I need to borrow that for December - sounds like my preparations for Christmas!

We don't have Thanksgiving - nothing to be thankful for in the UK obviously [wink]

followed you here from Michele's!

cq

[Melody]

LOL! We don't celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia. (Thankfully) Christmas is enough for us in the preperation stakes.

[Anita]

That sounds like my house, Marie!! Yikes!! The problem is - - after doing it for 10 years, I had to call 1-800-GOTJUNK to haul away all those bags of stuff that I opted never to ever look at again.

[Bluegrass Mama]

Sounds about right to me! Luckily I only have one friend coming for Thanksgiving, and she's pretty laid back.

Just once, though, I'd like to have my frozen (never fresh) turkey completely defrosted by Thursday morning so I don't get frostbite trying to pry out the giblets.

[Holly]

Crap. I'm way late already. Guess I'd better stock up on chocolate and wine.